My he-human’s revenge

When something is getting ready in our family, we dogs literally feel it in the air. Like last Saturday. In the hall, luggage began to accumulate and we were clear that we will go somewhere. My humans will go together with their grandchildren on the spring holidays to the mountains. On such an opportunity, we start with Dino chasing all over the house. We are looking forward and growling from fun.

While our pleasure increased with the increasing number of baggages in the corridor, so my he-human started slowly disappearing smile from the face. Several boxes of candies for grandchildren, pair of kilograms of flour, bags with cane sugar, bottles with oil, vinegar and red wine. Then our she-human brought a blender, toaster, a machine for preparing popcorn, a few layers, a collection of knives, two facilities on the Italian espresso and many other things their purpose is not known to us dogs or our he-human. It should be noted that we went to rented holiday house with fully equipped kitchens.To my he-human it evoked ancient experience from the basic military service, when as a chief of the hatch service oversaw the assembly of provi, securing the monthly exercise of the entire rocket technology partition. Only the semi-trailer with field cuisine was missing.

With the several types of baking forms I have registred stress hormones in the air. I understood that patience of my he-human is approaching the boundary of his capacity. It was just a matter of time when it leaves the last remnants of healthy self-confidence and self-control. Then I just heard how he says he wouldn’t live his own life. That he is good just to ensure funding and logistics. And the reward for him is the all-day baby shoutting and the ubiquitous mixture of toy parts mixed with the remnants of pastry, several kinds of jam, custard and similar masses inserted into all conceivable holes in the apartment. Didn’t say it aloud, but we dogs can read thought.

However, my he-human doesn’t give up. With the expression “If anyone can put this into one car, it’s me”, he started to carry everything out. He managed to put everything into the car with the precision of the pyramid builders. There was not have a centimeter of free space in the car. But also nothing on the sidewalk.

I would be proud of my he-human when I saw him returning to the winning expression of the Lord of formation. Unfortunately I suspected that something would be wrong. A pile of cooled food from the refrigerator lay in the hallway.  Among other things, following the salary of eggs, yoghurts, milk and two kilogram of cottage cheese. I don’t know what was the last drop. The fact remains that patience of my he-human has overflowed immediately as soon as he entered the door.

He was silent. But we dogs can read even those unspoken thoughts. And she-humans can also do it. So we could hear both of his sinister looking threatening with a cruel vengeance. He is the victim and he shows it to the whole world. And he lets all his things at home. Including warm clothing, your camera and tablet. He, who survived the moon in the Amazon jungle and high in Himalaya just with one backpack. He survives playfully in the Orlické Mountains only in the sweatshirt.

He finally avenged only himself. Because he was cold for a week. And especially he could not take photos. This creative activity which creating a counterweight to endless loop “yelling, eating, pee” those small tyrants.

As my he-human often says wisely, everyone is the Creator of his fate. But I have to tell you (I know it absolutely) that my he-human likes my fate like it is. As well as he loves those small beings.

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