Getting out of jail

My name is Chica de Tulear and I come from the noble dog family Coton de Tulear. The story I am going to tell you has its origins at a time when I had no name yet and lived with many other dogs in a dog prison. Such a dungeon is called a puppy mill, and I was there with the only purpose – to give birth to puppies. Dogs living there do not do anything else. The puppies are then sold by their prisoners to people who want to save some money »»» read more

Five hundred likes

Today, our he-human solemnly announced to me that more than five hundred people had already given “I like it” to my page www.facebook.com/happy.coton on Facebook. He said it with such enthusiasm, as if we stop the weakening of the Gulf Stream.

I understood that people have bizarre standards for what is essential and what is absolutely secondary. It is important for us dogs if we like ourselves. We know that if we like ourselves, our humans like us. That’s how it works in the dog world. Because the most important thing is us and our pack. And if someone else like us, we don’t care. It’s not our problem, but the others’.

I hypothesize that you people had it that way too. Probably until you came up with a Facebook and his Likes. But I wasn’t born yet.

Minimalism

Today I had so much interesting that I wanted to dictate to my he-human in my blog. For example, the sun was shining for a while and it was snowing again. Or that Dino won’t give me a break. Not to mention that he bit into a wicker bed. And also how many poop we saw on the walk today.

But my he-human said that he is becoming a minimalist and so our contributions will be minimalist. And because I can’t write on my own, I’ll probably also be a minimalist, even though I don’t know what it means not by a fraction.

Unsuccessful tasting

Our humans sometimes go into hibernation. They are sitting on the couch or in a chair, staring at the object they are holding in their hand. If they don’t turn the page from time to time, I’ll be afraid they’re petrified.

These things must be extremely valuable to them. It will definitely be an unusual delicacy. But I never dared to taste it. But I was curious what enchanted our humans so much.

So I told Dino: “You have to try to taste it. It will certainly be something we have never eaten before. ” We waited for our humans to leave. I pretended to sleep. If our humans happened to return unexpectedly, I, their good Chica, don’t know anything. And Dino pulled the items off the table. And tasted. He bit for a moment, looking worse than swallowing a spider. He say it’s not good at all. And when he says at all, he thinks absolutely not at all.

Humans are strange creatures. They adore things that cannot be eaten.

The other’s bowl

Our humans are now preparing food in two bowls. The bigger one is for me and the smaller one for Dino. I have there my favorite granules mixed with a juicy sachet in it. Dino there has his granules for puppies, moistened and also flavored with a pinch of meatballs.

However, neither of us is interested in our own bowl. What the other has in it, on the other hand, mesmerizes us. And if our he-human are not standing between us, we’ll throw ourselves at the other’s food.

Our he-human shakes his head over it. In the few thousand years we have been living with humans, we have learned the bad from people. Like envy. People often crave what their neighbor has. They envy themselves and throw themselves at each other’s bowls. They naively think that these are the things that will bring them happiness. It is said that our ancestors wolves were not like that, they lived in packs where one supported the other.

I was a little ashamed and decided to start meditating, returning to nature, not being a slave to my ego, and sharing my granules with Dino and my humans. I will be like my great-grandmother wolf and I will definitely make my humans happy.

A dog that eats cucumbers

Imagine what our little black-and-white tot did yesterday. The he-human placed shopping bags in the hall. The he-humans always leave everything lying where it falls by hand. If there was no she-humans, they would have nowhere to step, they would be overgrown with dirt, and they would generally die on the vine.

Dino took the moment to examine the bag through. No one noticed anything when I hear the she-human shout “he eats cucumber!”. And he already had half of the cucumber from Spain in him.

Our humans hurriedly asked the computers if the cucumber are poisonous for the dogs. Humans are strange beings. We dogs, if we eat something bad, we vomit it up right away and it’s quiet. But people, they’re going to consult with Google on what to do. Poor people. Such big and they do not have their own mind.

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Dino

When my humans start running here and there, carrying bags and looking for various papers, phones and keys, I already see how the land lies. We’ll go somewhere with a tin monster. I will probably never fall in love with their monster on wheels, but I like to go on trips.

But hey, they didn’t take me this time. They left me alone. And they pissed me off pretty bad. When they returned, I felt such a strange tension in the air. They both looked like a mysterious castle in the Carpathians and devoutly carried something wrapped in a blanket.

God, it’s alive! And it looks like an overgrown mouse. I began to growl in such a deep voice that not even my great-grandmother the wolf would be ashamed of it.

They laid the creature carefully on the ground and began to lisp to it. This is really beyond the pale! I’m going to have to take offense. I will crawl under the couch and ignore them forever, at least for two minutes and eleven seconds.

Then they introduced us. That they say Dino. Who can come up with such a strange name? And that they say Coton, too. So let them take a good look at him! Half head black. Is that what a Coton looks like? What if he grows into a Saint Bernard? I wonder to my humans – as if I, Chica de Tulear, were not enough for them.

But I will whisper something to you: the little one is quite nice and we have already agreed together that we will do some bad things to our humans.

Pay attention

Today we were in the woods, our whole pack. Fortunately, where my humans live, there is still some forest.

We animals love it there. And we’re sorry to see more and more what you’re doing to our planet. We think you humans haven’t succeeded to nature. You’re like from that fairytale tale about Otesánek (a Czech fairytale in which a little boy carved from a piece of wood ate his father and mother). You must have so many things that one day you will also eat our Mother Earth.

And then you perish. We will have no humans. We will be sad at first. But then we will get used to it and live again like wolves. And we will teach our children and their children to take only what they need from nature. Otherwise, we would end up like those two-legged creatures who once stayed with us and took care of us.


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Beetles for breakfast

I’ve had a lot of adventures lately. But I can’t force my lazy he-human to type my experiences and publish them on the Internet. My humans are busy, because they have their human puppies at the babahotel.

I have to explain to my foreign friends what a babahotel is. That is, when the grandchildren come to the grandmother to take a break from their hard duties, and my humans are their maids, butlers, cooks, entertainers, and purchasing managers.

My he-human explained to me that something like tiny animals proliferated at school, so the children can’t go there. I don’t know why this is such a problem. We dogs, if we have fleas, they will drop something on our necks and that’s it. But I’m really glad they closed the school instead of dripping something on their necks. Because they could come to us and I have a really big pack.

And now let me tell you something you won’t want to believe: they wanted to feed me beetles! My he-human ordered insect granules from a famous dog food manufacturer. He said that it is very ecological, because it is not entirely right if other animals to die for our pets. Beetles are also animals, but because they are small, you can to turn a blind eye to it.

Even as he carried the bowl, I sensed a snag. He looked as if she-human is about to unwrap his Christmas present. However, I show myself clearly and concisely: not by any chance! Am I a spider to eat insects? I licked the pate, didn’t even touch the pellets, and then pushed the bowl noisily across the dining room to express what I thought of his experiments.

Luckily we have a she-human. The she-humans, unlike somebody(!), have common sense and I do not understand what the he-humans would do without them. I heard her tell he-human she would never understand what was still fooling around with those granules. And that if he bought shares instead of granules that I would never eat anyway, then we are already millionaires.

Intruder

People tend to have a special washing room in their homes. There are holes of various sizes in it and water flows into them. In the smallest of them, ma humans wash their hands. Sometimes they push me into the bigger one when we come from outside and they pour water on me. For some reason, my she human doesn’t like mud in the living room. My great-grandmother wolf bathed only when she had to cross the river exceptionally while hunting. No wonder the virus is rampant among people when they’re kind of prissy and still washing themselves. If they rolled in the mud from time to time and kept it up to bed, they would certainly be more resilient.

My humans go into the largest hole with water. And sometimes even both of them at once. They will take a bottle of red drink and olives there. They sit up to their necks in the water, drinking and chatting. It is a rare opportunity to hear my he human. Because he usually talks only after a glass of that red drink. First, I lean my front paws against the edge of the tub to see how my humans soak is in the water. But after a while there is nothing interesting for me, so I lie down on the ground and listen.

People think we don’t understand their language. But they are very wrong. We don’t have to understand words because we read thoughts directly. Well, there I heard something outrageous on the floor in the bathroom: the owners will get a puppy! What do they think!? Will he take up half of my lair? And will he eat half of my bowl? And will he take half of my humans? I didn’t have anyone in the puppy mill and now I have two humans just for myself. I will not share them with any small pamper. I will not !!!

If I were human, I would be terribly jealous. I would look crooked. And I would pretend to be sick. I would evoke terrible feelings of guilt in them. And maybe I’d pack my luggage and, screaming at the whole house, sobbing that I am leaving to my mother’s. Or to Rex, whom I know from the park, and who, unlike someone, can appreciate my qualities.

Fortunately, I’m not human. So I will just say to the little guy who’s the master here. And it will actually be nice, because we will play a lot together and perform tricks on our humans together. In fact, I’m already looking forward to him.

Elves and fairies

We dogs perceive reality differently than you people. To be more precise than adults. Young children still have the ability to explore the world in all its breadth, just like we have.

But it is probably in vain to explain it to you adults. Because you only believe what you see with your eyes, what you can reach for and what you can buy with your money.

But the real world is much, much more varied and wider than you think. Take the flaps out of your eyes for a moment. You will see elves, fairies and all the strange creatures that live there in the forest again. You will hear the trees talking to each other. You will get acquainted with the spirits of streams and rocks. I’ll strike up a bargain – you being happier then. Like small children, or we, dogs.